THE HUMILITY FELT FROM HAVING IT ALL

sitting in a bookstore, sipping on a mocha wrapped in flannel & wool

snugged cozily in the corner of this bookstore in the mountains of Boulder Colorado

theres been a few waves that have washed over me since I’ve embarked on this spontaneous girls trip

these waves of how tremendously blessed I am

As November approaches, I close in on one full year of working full time for myself

One full year of being able to work from any location I choose

One full year of being fully in charge of my schedule

& as everything that we encounter day by day for long periods of time, it is something I take for granted more often than I’m proud to admit

I think it’s easier to take it for granted, than it is to sit in how immense it feels to truly digest that this life is a dream come true

almost easier to downplay it.. “yeah im lucky” “yeah it’s pretty special to be able to travel like this”

instead of sitting in the immenseness that washes over me of, “holy fuck I created my dream life, in a way that ALIGNS with me – not needing to step on anyone, or compromise my truths”

the weight that comes with that – of how much abundance I have, & how can I evenly give it away?

Cady Jo & I settled into this little retro 70s trailer Thursday night

I cooked us one of the yummiest meals, oyster mushrooms cooked to perfection

our trailer sitting at a toasty 78 degrees, & some delicious Colorado cannabis full in our lungs

It was one of those moments you don’t forget, in a state of true bliss & unwavering happiness

as the waves of bliss rolled over me, it was quickly swept away with immense sadness

this feeling of unfairness to have it THIS good, while so many are suffering, while the world / year 2020 is burning – literally & figuratively

I’ve been feeling this ache often lately to use this privilege & abundance in a way that makes a damn difference

i’ve been drowning in heaviness over the rapid homeless populations I’ve seen in America since I’ve moved back from Australia

this ache in my chest every time I walk by a homeless person, especially here in the mountains, knowing the depths of how cold it is at sun fall

so many addicts who haven’t quite found the light

so much mental illness going untreated, trapped in their own minds of chaos

so many that aged out of foster care at 18 with no forever home, who spent most of their lives bouncing couch to couch

as we come up on such a wildly heavy period of life, election season full of SO much division, hatred, spewing of nasty, the wildest individualism I’ve ever felt , I think it is more important than ever that we begin STEP FIRST WITH KINDNESS

before every word, action, thought, judgement, decision – put KINDNESS & COMPASSION & OPENNESS in place FIRST

there is so much danger in judging, and not moving through this world CONSCIOUSLY

in judging addicts, homeless, people with differing political opinions, the guy who cut you off in traffic, the woman at work who said something mean about you, the couple you follow on social media who has differing family raising ideology, etc etc etcccc

I recently learned in a remarkable program I’m apart of how revolutionary it is to listen & lead with kindness, openness, compassion, & acceptance – this DOES NOT mean you have to agree, or that you have to take these thoughts on as YOURS – it DOES mean that you listen with openness & kindness for we can NEVER fully understand why a person feels deeply about the things they do & lives in a way you don’t agree with.

& how we TREAT others and how WE SHOW UP is THE ONLY piece we are in control of

If there is someone who thinks deeply different about a hot topic of yours, sit with them. Sit with them with kindness, compassion, openness & acceptance of who they are, and ask the HARD questions. Understand why they think that way. If we all just took the time to HEAR our opposing thoughts, hear how they came to be in the life they are in, this world would be such a wildly different and more conscious place.

The next time you walk by a homeless, look them in the eyes. Actually SEE them.

You could be looking in the eyes of a an alternate reality for my father, who finally after 35 years of being an addict, ran out of financial support from his family & ended up on the street.

You could be looking in the eyes of a Christina, a 30 year old woman who aged out of foster care with no home, no education, no family. Who met a man who promised to take care of her, and instead hooked her on pills & beat her for all of her 20s, now on the streets.

The new time you are matched with a differing politic opinion, take a deep breath & learn about them.

You could be sitting across from a Trump supporter who had those deep seeded racist beliefs passed down generation to generation. Who knows no difference which is by means no excuse, but environmental conditioning is real thing, and needs matched with kindness to be reminded that anger & hatred isn’t what you have to be filled with.

We can NEVER fully understand why a person is who they are, and it’s dangerous business to step into a space of righteousness with judgement of who/how they live.

I’d like to offer you the choice to spend the rest of 2020 softening a bit & really try on taking the FIRST STEP WITH KINDNESS.

Lord knows it’s been a HEAVY / SCARY / TRAUMATIC year; with a lot of flashing lights of danger with the election in 30 days.

Moving through your days with a wall around you, callousing you a bit, maybe even providing you some unrecognizable anger as a coping mechanism is absolutely understandable with how 2020 has unfolded, however, is there any place you can soften to learn? soften for humility? soften to grow? soften to teach? soften to breathe?

I am declaring for the remainder of 2020 to not pretend I understand why any single person functions in the way they do, to not pass judgement on any single person I encounter no matter their beliefs, to stay within my truth that if someone doesn’t align with me I will leave the room with compassion.

My heart has been on fire since March, & while there is so much path blazing with a fire, theres also equal amount of destruction when it’s not contained & I fear as I listen to the conversations around me and I see the flashing lights ahead we are moving to a fire that is wildly out of control.

So much love & security sent to you, as we navigate the rest of 2020 together.
I hope you choose compassion.

One thought on “THE HUMILITY FELT FROM HAVING IT ALL

  1. An absolutely beautiful article. Never feel bad about having it good. Enjoy all the goodness you can while you can! Your happy day is inspiring!!! I loved this! ❤

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