Happy Thanksgiving you absolute beauties!
This is a quick throw together gratitude post, as I am sitting in the dining room of my boothang’s family watching my now crippled partner wobble around dancing while annoying the heck out of his parents.
Talk about hard time concentrating. So bare with me!
I whole heartedly love Thanksgiving. I always have. I spent Thanksgiving in Italy 3 years ago and I still remember it like it was yesterday; for many reasons: I had 7 courses of seafood in one seating, I forgot to wear a bra to dinner and had to borrow one, I drank three bottles of red wine, but the thing I remember the most is the gang I was traveling with trying to find me turkey and mash potatoes at every restaurant we went past because without even knowing I was capable of being homesick, I was homesick.
I am not sure what exactly it is about Thanksgiving. The beauty in no expectations, just spending time with family, stuffing your face with what happens to be my favorite meal in life, and the endless relaxation.
Family time, so much food, and relaxation is the formula for me to dive deeply into how damn grateful I am. And this year, I am literally bursting at the seams. For the ones who have kept up with my blog, my goodness do you know it was a hard five months of self development on my end. But here I am now in this moment, these recent moments, as fulfilled as I could possibly be.
I keep catching myself getting stuck in my breath. This false belief that has been planted in my head that if it’s this good from every aspect why would it stay this way? That if I breathe too deep it will vanish through my fingers, but you know, even if it does that’s just fine, because right around the corner is another period of bliss.
Eb & flow baby. Eb & flow.
But right now, as I sit here in the home of my beautiful partner’s parents, smelling turkey cooking, preparing for a day of relaxation, and then heading for three days with my momma, I am basking in the fulfillment of it all. That even though there are still bills and more money than I want to spend on adult things, and still hard conversations that leave me frustrated for periods, and still a wonder of what in the world I was placed on this earth to do, what mission I am to serve; right now this moment, this Thanksgiving, everything is bliss.
My gratitude list goes a little like this <3:
I have this absolute beautiful mother that I am obsessed with. In all aspects, I am literally obsessed with this woman. Calling each other 4 times a day to vent, to celebrate, for her wisdom, for my stern lectures, for 45 minute phone calls about all the cats we once had and what happened to them all. I am obsessed with who this woman has grown to be. She is flourishing being sober, she is such a role model, for me, for these girls who are requesting she sponsor them and help lead them to the bliss she is living. Seeing her flourish on days I feel should be really hard for her, and her not get caught up in; she is astounding. She is everything in this world.
I finally have a home base, with a permanent address! Whaaaaaatttttttt. Who knew that day would come. I am so lucky lucky lucky and thankful for my grandparents who allow me to overtake their space, and take such amazing care of me everyday. Who provide me space to feel at home, and cook me the yummiest meals on the days that I would rather just eat boxed pizza because I am so exhausted. They are my rocks.
I wish desperately my girlfriends were in the same town as me, but at this point in my life they are not, however, I am still so blessed to have their connection close. To not see them for periods at a time, but still feel their love with me and know I can pick up the phone whenever and they are there.
And I have this relationship. This partner. Going on six months of life together, and while I think on days how in the world are we going on six months, I also think equally, how in gods name is it ONLY six months? It feels like ages of growing together. Months full of laughter, growth, love, happiness. Weeks full of learning, compromise, hard nights of talking it out. Through it all, through the bliss of “falling in love” what we have been left with is these deep entangled roots. This strong foundation. This base to grow this life together. As hard as some days can be, I have fought hard to surface these realizations that there is no other person I would want to learn life with, to have to compromise my selfish tendencies with, and to accept lovingly those annoying traits that everyone has, that used to make me say seeeeeyaaaaaa.
Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like
volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a
decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined
together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because
this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness, it is not
excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion.
That is just being in love, which any fool can do. Love itself is what
is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art
and a fortunate accident.
Those that truly love have roots
that grow towards each other underground, and, when all the pretty
blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one
tree and not two.
Louis de Bernieres
I could really go on & on & on about all my grateful feels, but I do believe the last thing I am beyond about this year is my relationship with the universe, with God.
Praying has proved to be nothing short of truth. Nothing short of learning to surrender, to be kinder, to learn to relinquish my strong need for control. It’s proved to give me such life abundance, relationship abundance, & financial abundance.
Find your path, find your belief in more, find your higher being. There is nothing I enjoy more than living for our universe, for consistently trying to give back and to not live for myself anymore. And for this journey of living through the universe, the moon, nature. That’s where it all is. Because while I am no longer living solely for what I WANT & NEED, I am now given everything I want and need. The irony!
I love you all.
If you made it this far: thank you for caring about my gratitude rants ,thank you for supporting, thank you for loving me.
I hope you are filled with nothing but goodness today, and if you are struggling to feel fulfillment, reach out, let me tell you my secrets, cus God knows (literally) I’ve struggled.
But I am not now. And I don’t want you to either.
Happy Thanksgiving sweet peas!
I am going to take a nap, wooooah it’s way past nap time.