What I’ve learned about surrendering to the negativity surrounding us, and beginning the journey of wholeness through it all.

I think we manifest the very thing we put out. If you’re putting out negativity, then you’re going to retrieve that same sentiment. If you emanate joy, it comes back to you.- Robin Wright

While sharing a conversation with someone who inspires me, and who’s been struggling with the unnecessary negativity surrounding him, I got reminded of such an important lesson I’ve learned this year.

So I’m here really to pass on a small pep talk to you, because we all need them once in a while.

Take a step back from a situation that is currently filling you with negativity and “drama”. Is there something you could be doing different or better in the situation?

If the answer is yes, begin to work on that part of you. Better it, and let the unnecessary negativity/drama disperse. Because I can promise you whole heartedly, the people who are actively working to be the best version of themselves will not cause unnecessary negativity in your life, they will talk through situations they are uncomfortable in with you, not to other people about you. And they are the people you want to surround yourself with.

If the answer is no, then accept that the person involved in causing the negativity is just the type of person who hasn’t moved to the point of understanding the importance of putting in the work to better themselves, and until they do, negativity will surround them.

To all the other dreamers out there, don’t ever stop or let the world’s negativity disenchant you or your spirit. If you surround yourself with love and the right people, anything is possible. -Adam Green

If someone is negative, childish, immature, rude, full of drama, etc.; you have two choices: Allow yourself to be wrapped up in it, or begin to work to build yourself up with so much self-worth and positivity that whenever negativity/drama enters your circle, you can shake it off without a second thought. The only person you are solely responsible for working on and reflecting upon is yourself, so build that barrier of self-worth and strength so thick, nothing can shake it. Since my tough lesson this summer, I’ve worked actively to not allow an ounce of negativity that I know can’t be worked through into my life. Believe in yourself enough to know it’s not always a reflection on YOU but on the progress of the other person involved.

I’ve worked in the restaurant industry for ten years, and I could truly write a book on how many times I have experienced the feeling of being disliked for reasons I couldn’t understand and finding myself wrapped up in nonsense. I am so very thankful to say, I just started a new restaurant job, and for the first time in my life I do not allow these feelings to cultivate. And it is for the soul reason that I have worked really hard the last few months to recognize and embrace when negativity is felt, and the importance of going into it head first and working to figure out the next best steps on combatting it. But believe me, if it wasn’t for this challenging situation I felt this summer, I wouldn’t have such a clear insight on the importance of this process. It’s all about that ongoing learning process my dear friends.

I am a firm believer that the best lessons come through the clearest when they are shared through real stories, so let’s get to it. I’m pulling up my sleeves and getting dirty with this one.

I’m a team player to the fullest, I’m a damn hard worker, and I believe in always being fair. It was an emotionally hard job, with a small staff who felt the emotional toll together a great deal of the time. I came in with excited expectations to work really hard for a business I had a lot of respect for, make money for myself and for the family that put their heart and soul in every day, and enjoy the hours I put in every week. I became friends with the people who were spending money in the restaurant, and made the most of my 50 hours a week there. But oh my goddddd, was my self-worth really questioned at this job. Relentless talking behind my back.  Being too friendly, not being friendly enough. Giving too good service, not giving enough service. Constant internal questioning if I actually even knew how to do what I had been doing proficiently for ten years. I tried with everything I had to figure out how to be liked in that restaurant, from the people who at the end of the day, didn’t even matter. I truly felt we were a family embracing the madness together, but I came to learn hard I was misguided in that thought.  I realized at the end of the day, that the people that did matter made themselves present in support every single time.

All the real ones gon relate all the fake ones gon get jealous- Russ.

And I realized through this experience, that in all situations that arise, it truly doesn’t matter what the ones around you think, if your wall of self-worth is healthy, nourished, and built up, the snickers and negativity won’t even feel relevant. And what a beautiful place that is to get to! Let’s take leaps towards that every day:

Are you working towards becoming the best version of yourself, whatever that may look like for YOUR personal journey?

Are you bringing your whole self to every situation?

Are you going into every encounter with true and positive intentions?

Are you willing to see your faults and work towards bettering them?

Not one single person is without fault, but if you are doing the best you can every day, and you still find someone does not like you, that is on the reflection of them solely. You will never be everybody’s cup of tea (I promise you that), but if you actively do your best to be the best person you can be, then negativity will float right through you, and you’ll appreciate and support the faults you see in others.

Be so immersed in building your own immaculate self-worth, that you don’t have time to wonder what anyone that doesn’t influence you positively is thinking or doing.

Too busy eating my own fruit, to check if yours sweeter- Russ.

I was at my lowest self at this part of summer, and thought I needed these girls to support and lift me, and instead they sat in the corner and high fived and cheered while I got thrown under, hard. These girls were not at a place to see the importance of needing to better themselves, and once I finally learned that, it was as if a weight was lifted from my chest with the constant wonders on why I wasn’t enough for them. Flip that reflection around, you beautiful soul, it isn’t always about the imperfections you feel you bring to the table.

At the end of the day, so many who enter your life are temporary. To allow each person who isn’t working towards being the best version of themselves affect the hard work you’ve put in, is so counterproductive. Stay strong. Keep putting in the work necessary to flourish. AND CUT THE DRAMA. Such a wasted space in your life.


“Positive thinking is more than just a tagline. It changes the way we behave. And I firmly believe that when I am positive, it not only makes me better, but it also makes those around me better.”

Harvey Mackay

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